Notes from your future self
for when life is so noisy it's hard to hear your own thoughts
how this started
Do you ever feel like you are stuck in a revolving door of thoughts? And it's so hard to tell which ones are your own and what has come from everyone else?
If you want to quieten down the noise and get in touch with your own thoughts, you're in the right place.
That was many moons ago now and since then I have spent years learning how to slow it down and come back to my own inner voice and intuition.
In that journey what often helped me was someone with no skin in the game to ask me a few questions or call me out on what I was avoiding to get me back on track.
This is something I wish I had then. Something to help unsurface what you already know.
This is a foot wedged in the revolving door, so there's an opening to step out of, if you so choose.
this is for you if
- You're trying to change your life into something your current circle doesn't have a map for
- You already know what you want but you feel stuck or like you're missing a puzzle piece
- You're looking for a permission slip and everyone around you is too invested in your decision to give you one
- You're finding yourself looking for that perfect inspiring reel, Instagram tarot readers, or the one thing to miraculously jolt you into clarity or action
and this is not
- Advice on what to do
- Therapy, coaching, or counselling
- A space to vent without moving forward
- An algorithm generating a response
- A place to come for AI-style blind validation
- Crisis support, if you need that right now findahelpline.com has free lines in over 100 countries
what you leave with
You leave with your own answer, the one that is hiding within you.
That answer might come in a few different forms.
Perhaps it's a question or five to help you gain some new perspective.
Perhaps it's a reframe to help shift the angle of the situation.
Perhaps it's just plainly telling you what you already know.
It's a pause in the revolving door. Instead of adding more noise, a short, sharp redirect back to yourself.
choose your spark
Quick & sharp
The Ember
$11.11 AUD
Got a situation that fits in 100 words? Good. Keep it sharp and keep it honest. Your future self sends back direct perspective to cut through whatever's keeping you stuck.
Up to 100 words to describe your situation
Sharp reframes, questions, or a permission slip
Response within 24 hours
Limited availability per day
Layered & complex
The Flame
$33.33 AUD
Got something bigger sitting on you? Up to 300 words. Your future self starts by naming what they heard underneath what you wrote, then delivers the perspective that cuts through the layers.
Up to 300 words to describe your situation
A short reflection on what was heard underneath
Deeper questions, reframes, and perspective
Response within 24 hours
Limited availability per day
how it works
Describe what's going on
Write your situation honestly. Three things help: what's happening, what you're weighing, and what your gut already says even if the people around you aren't saying it back.
A real person reads it
Not an algorithm. Not a template. A real person who has spent years in the world of human wellbeing, and who has stood at their own crossroads, sits with what you've written before responding.
Your perspective arrives
Straight to your inbox. Sometimes it's a question. Sometimes it's a reframe. Sometimes it's a permission slip. It's never advice. It's always perspective.
what it looks like
The Flame
"I want to move to another country. I've wanted to for years. I have the savings. I have skills that travel. Nothing is actually stopping me except that I keep waiting for the right time and I think I've realised the right time is never going to announce itself. I just don't know how to give myself permission to actually do it when everyone treats it like a phase I'll grow out of."
Why do you give a fuck if they think it's just a phase? Are you worried they won't love you the same if you follow your heart?
You know yourself. You know what you want. And by the sounds of it you have spent a lot of time setting yourself up so that you can get it. You've got this!
What are you really scared of here?
If it's something more than disapproval of others, it's time to do some soul searching to figure out what it is, or alternatively just make the move and figure it out along the way!
You've done all of the groundwork for this move so you can deal with a little bit of discomfort to get yourself across the finish line. You're the captain of your life!
*A lil something extra, go put on Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield, reaaaaaally loudly, and dance the whole time. Or stare out a window. I don't care. Just enjoy the pep talk, sing every word to yourself.
The Ember
"I have a hard drive full of things I've started and never finished. A novel. A podcast. A photography project. An online course I built half of. Every time I look at them I feel like a failure. Like I'm someone who can't follow through. But I also notice that the time I spent on each of them was some of the best time I've had. I don't know what that means."
You keep calling them unfinished. What if they were exactly as long as they needed to be?
What if the end product of them was not about a finished product you could share but the learning along the way?
Those learnings have been paving the way for something you decide is worth finishing, and if they're not, who fucking cares if you had the best time while you were working on them? Life is all about farting around.
The Flame
"I know I don't look after myself properly. I sleep badly, eat badly, barely move. I'm a mum of two young kids and there is genuinely no time. Or that's what I tell myself. My husband would say I make time for everything except myself and I think he's right but I don't know how to fix it without something else falling apart."
When you think back to your own childhood, are the fondest memories of your parents when they were running around stressed trying to get everything done, or was it when they were lit up, alive and present with you?
If your children don't see you making time to look after yourself and meet your own basic needs, how will they ever learn that skill for themselves? You're going to teach them that being busy is more important than feeling well.
How much more fun would life be raising your kids if you could show up with at least a semi full cup? I know you are a busy parent so let's be realistic.
You are underselling the value of looking after yourself. Ensuring you sleep, eat and move well aren't frivolous extras, they are the top of your basic needs. Meeting your basic needs means you can show up with more energy, more patience, more presence. It also means you'll be able to show up healthily for longer.
It's time to see yourself as a priority over what could potentially fall apart. Can you outsource some things and be comfortable with them not being done in exactly the same way you would do them?
If you can remind yourself each time that it's more important to show up fully for your kids, is it a little easier to make yourself a priority? Cause what's more important in ten years time, that you were fully present as yourself, demonstrating to your children how important it is to prioritise meeting your basic needs, or that the grocery shopping was done juuuuust right.
The Ember
"I've been talking to this guy for six months. We haven't put a label on anything. He's inconsistent, sometimes really present and warm, sometimes I don't hear from him for days. I've started adjusting my behaviour to make things easier for him. I've basically made myself smaller so he doesn't feel crowded. I know this is a problem but I keep thinking if I can just be cool enough about it he'll come around."
Why do you view yourself so poorly that you think you don't deserve to be treated better? Why are you stalling on meeting someone who will actually make you feel good, to instead feel chosen by someone who makes you play a smaller role?
You're the main character. If you don't protect and nurture your essence so that you can show it off, how is the love of your life ever supposed to find you? The one who lights you up like a sunflower shining for the sun.
a note before you write
This service is for people who are actually looking to change things. It's not a space for venting without the intention of shifting something in the process.
If you're in genuine distress right now, please reach out to someone who can truly be with you. findahelpline.com has free crisis lines in over 100 countries.
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